Reading the Highland Villager #2 (July 1 - 14 Edition)

[Basically, the problem is that the best source of local streets & sidewalks news in Saint Paul is the Highland Villager. This wouldn't be a problem, except that its not available online. I'm reading the Highland Villager so that you don't have to. Until this newspaper goes online, sidewalk information must be set free.]

Total number of stories about sidewalks: 7
Total number of stories about sidewalks by Jane McClure: 7
Total number of stories likely to piss off Editor Mischke: 0



Title: Controversy over new Walgreens prompts hearing on store's site plan
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The new Walgreen's mentioned last fortnight going in on the corner of Snelling Avenue (directly across the street from an already existing giant Synder's drug store) doesn't violate any city codes. Building the new drug store will mean widening a half block of one of the streets to "better accommodate turning vehicles". The building would be one of those faux two-story buildings that looks like a two-story building but isn't one. People in the neighborhood are PO'd, mostly because of the sheer ludicrous-osity of the way in which stores parasitically compete in America these days [e.g. Starbucks, CVS, or any other retailer. -ed.].



Title: Jefferson Ave. eyed for new bicycle boulevard
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: People in the neighborhood didn't know what to make of the new proposed bicycle boulevard, which was originally scheduled for Highland Parkway but (after tons of complaints) is going to be moved to Jefferson Avenue. [You may recall that Oberstar earmarked some federal $$$ for a bike boulevard in st. Paul a while back, and this is the free money that the city is trying to spend, even though nobody in St Paul seems to like any sort of change. - ed.] The bike boulevard, according to the St Paul Public Works, would run all through the city from W 7th to the Mississippi, and be a primarily bike street, where cars have to yield to bikes. The article doesn't' really explain why this is a good idea, or what a bike boulevard is intended to do [It is intended to empower more bicyclists to use city streets by creating a really safe environment, particularly older or younger people that might not be biking under the current auto-centric street regime. -ed.] Most comments in the article are positive, expressing concern about speeding.


Title: St. Paul sees uptick in requests for Neighborhood STAR funds
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: Lots of people are applying for grants for the city. Proposals are mostly for building improvements, including the as-yet-un-begun Penfield Condo development on the Northern edge of Downtown St Paul. [This is the building that still has a sign saying "Coming Fall 2007" in front of a vacant lot. -Ed.]


Title: Judge disallows St. Paul's ban on billboard extensions
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: St Paul can't ban billboard extensions, those bits that stick out over the top or off the side of the billboard. The attempted ban is illegal because it doesn't have reasons. Clear Channel won the lawsuit against the city [which has been trying for a long time to limit billboards and outdoor advertising. -ed.].


Title:Comment sought on Central Corridor light-rail transit EIS
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The final environmental report is out, and people can look at it at the library or online. The public can comment until July 27th [though nobody will pay the slightest bit of attention to your comment. -ed.]. Article mentions the PBHRC, who are upset with the LRT b/c of the loss of parking, increased taxes, and gentrification in general.


Title: Council to decide fate of neighborhoods' dated small area plans
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: Old small area plans for all the city's district councils may be thrown out because they are too old. The small area plan for the Summit hill area is mentioned prominently, as being particularly old and needing an update, even though the neighborhood assn for the area still wants to keep it. The plan currently places heavy emphasis on historic preservation. District council people are pissed in general because they update these plans, but then the city doesn't really do anything with them anyway. List of plans that will be "decertified" include: Selby Avenue (1997), Grand Ave West (1983),.


Title: City unveils 2010 bonding requests
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: St Paul is gonna ask the state for money next year: $25 M for the St Paul Saints stadium [Yet another publically funded stadium! -ed.], $20 M for the University Avenue streetscape [Badly badly needed! -ed.], $11 M for the Como Zoo, $17.5 M for the Ordway theater's new concert hall, $5M for turning the old Hamm's brewery into a Asian cultural center, $3M for pedestrian bridges over I-94 at Aldine St. and Mackubin St. [The state will be broke, though. -ed.]

Shed No Tears for the St Paul Macy's

A while ago, I read an incredible account of the bombing of the St Paul Daytons' department store:

Mary Peek and her husband Roland went to Dayton’s to have dinner on Sunday August 22, 1970 not knowing that the events of the evening would change their lives forever. At 5:10 pm Mary was combing her hair in front of the mirror in the women’s restroom on the Cedar level (near Cedar and Sixth street) when a two pound stick of dynamite detonated in the wastebasket near her. The blast destroyed two toilets, two wash sinks, and blew a hole in the wall. According to an article in her hometown paper, the Albert Lea Tribune, her “lungs were seared, eardrums broken, and her body pierced with shrapnel and debris.” After five hours in surgery she would spend the next three months in the hospital recovering and would suffer from the blast for the rest of her life.

The tale is incredible for a number of reasons, most obviously because its a horrible act of violence. But secondly, the era of 70s terrorist political bombings is so beyond my experience that its difficult for me to imagine. (Today, that kind of violence has been replaced by apolitical mass shootings, it seems.) Finally, and less extreme, I find it hard to imagine a St Paul department store being full of people. If a bomb went off at Macy's these days, I'm not sure that anyone would notice. (There's a legitimate philosophical question about whether or not it would even make a sound.) 

The very concept of people existing in downtown St Paul seems rather quaint today, something out of the Historical Society archive or a clip of the Mary Tyler Moore show. Maybe someday, I've been thinking to myself for my entire life, St Paul will be more than a curious museum of a city. Maybe someday, I've been thinking to myself for my entire life, the streets and sidewalks will have people on them.

That day is fast approaching. And Macy's closing is likely to help, not hurt, the effort.

[Paris' Au Bon Marché in 1867.]

Why is Macy's Closing?

The Macy's / Dayton's story has less to do with downtown St Paul and more to do with the highly-competitive, ever-changing world of retail.  Robert Fogelson's excellent history of downtowns describes nicely how dense and bustling downtowns were in the pre-war era. These downtowns used to be the very absolute centers of our civic and commercial lives. It was another era, and Joe Soucheray's (surprisingly tolerable) column yesterday does a nice job of reminiscing about the old days.

Now? The opposite is true. Today, a big downtown department store is a relic, like an elevator operator or a typewriter. The world's first modern department store was the Bon Marché in Paris. It opened in 1867 and when it did, it revolutionized the retail experience for 19th century urbanites. Reading descriptions of that moment (Benjamin's Arcades Project is a good source for this) you get a sense of how amazing it seemed to the emerging middle-class of the times.

Well, things change. Along came shopping malls and freeways in the 1950s, big box stores and even larger freeways in the 1980s, and finally the internet comes along today. Just as those early stores wiped out lots of smaller "general store" merchants, inevitably the department stores were out-moded and replaced by the ever changing city. Today, retail is constantly cannibalizing itself, and every corner of our city is littered with formerly useful retail buildings. Any year now, Amazon.com will put a bunch of big box corporations out of business, and suburbs around the country will have to figure out what to do with their giant empty malls and useless 300,000 square foot one-story boxes.

[An abandoned strip mall in Brooklyn Center, fm this awesome site.]

The key question isn't "why is the downtown Macy's closing?" But its, "why didn't it close years ago?" (The answer is government subsidies. The other answer, if you read Nick Coleman's account of trying to actually shop there, is that it was actually was closed for all these years, even though it was technically open.)

For years, the downtown Macy's has been standing in the middle of downtown St Paul like a mannequin with no clothes, doing little but adding a pallor of depression to the city. It has only served as a faded symbol of another era. It's been like a giant palliative, a way for the downtown business community to feel better about itself. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that the store has likely never been much of an asset for downtown, and St Paul would have been better off it it had closed decades ago.

[The Macy's parking ramp creates a terrible sidewalk.]

To understand why the Macy's store was such a problem, look at the actual building. The store itself is an ugly almost windowless bunker that  literally resembles a white elephant. It sits in the very heart of the city like a trampoline in a cupcake shop, serving as little other than an awning for people waiting for the bus. It's got a skyway to nowhere that dangles uselessly over the vacant parking lot next door. And last but not least, the St Paul Macy's has one of the worst sidewalks in the city along 6th Street, one of those odious parking lot / ramps that transforms the sidewalk into a concrete terror. The overall effect is a textbook example of the kind of dead space that William H. Whyte condemned when he visited St Paul decades ago.

But now, thanks to the "normal course adjustments" of the Macy's corporation, St Paul will have to figure out what to do with this horrible building. It's too bad. It's unlikely to be used as a department store ever again; its unlikely to be re-purposed; and, barring an economic miracle, its unlikely to be knocked down and redeveloped anytime soon. It's likely, instead, to sit empty for a decade while St Paul attempts to revitalize itself all around it. The sooner that building sees the wrecking ball, the better.


The future of Downtown St Paul

Actually, it's a relief to see the department store era ending in Downtown St Paul. As long as the city keeps clinging to the past, it will have trouble making the kinds of decisions what will help it build a successful urban future. As long as the city keeps subsidizing out-moded retail and transportation infrastructures (like the downtown Macy's), it will have difficulty prioritizing the kinds of urban experiences that will actually benefit St Paul.

With that in mind, here are three things that downtown St Paul can do to move past the department store era:

• #1 Slowly Dismantle the Skyway System

The downtown Dayton's / Macy's was a shining example of the large-scale, insulated suburban campus style of downtown development that has mostly failed St Paul. St Paul's skyway system is another. The system is composed of large megablock buildings connected by isolating second-story tunnels, huge office buildings with interior focused mall spaces that present the street and its pedestrians with some of the bleakest possible spaces. The whole 'center' of downtown St Paul, beginning at the Macy's but extending all the way to Robert Street, is composed of similar buildings like this that have depressing, empty retail spaces with high office vacancy rates. Galtier Plaza and  "Town Square" are similar failed attempts to bring re-create the suburban shopping mall experience downtown (where it makes little sense).

Compare that with the parts of the city that are thriving: Lowertown, and the buildings surrounding the two beautiful downtown parks. Here you have street-level retail, smaller older buildings, and skyways are nowhere to be found. It's no coincidence that the parts of the city that people love and are successful have little overlap with the depressing skyway system.

• #2 Traffic Calming & Bike Lanes

Barring huge construction projects, traffic in St Paul is not that bad. There are still lots of places where the roads are overbuilt. (Kellogg Boulevard is a good example.) Last year NiceRide expanded its bike sharing system to downtown St Paul, and the results were very disappointing. A NiceRide station in downtown Minneapolis sees more use in an hour than a downtown St Paul station gets in a month. One of the problems is that downtown St Paul doesn't have any bike lanes. It doesn't have a citywide bike plan. It doesn't have political or business leaders pushing bicycling as a way to get around their city.

Another huge problem is that downtown St Paul doesn't actually connect its bicycle infrastructure with any of the surrounding neighborhoods. The city's #1 bike lanes, up on Summit Avenue, disappear just when you need them as you enter downtown St Paul. The same is true for the 4-3 conversion on West 7th Street, or the bike lanes on Wabasha Avenue from the West Side. And worst of all, trying to walk or bike to the East Side feels like taking a ring into Mordor. Downtown St Paul is an island that deliberately cuts itself off from the rest of the city. Given the lack of traffic downtown, all of these would be pretty simple fixes with a bit of political will.

• #3 Invest in Sidewalks and Street life

[This is a great place for a sidewalk café.]

What St Paul needs more than anything else is street life. When the Zombie Pub Crawl was in downtown St Paul a few years ago, I remember thinking that it seemed appropriate because St Paul in the evening typically feels like a post-apocalyptic wasteland. What St Paul needs is people! (Not zombie people.)

In order to get there, we need to start investing in mixed-use residential density and an investment in its sidewalks. It needs more chops and cafés and food trucks and events (like Wabasha Street Days).

It turns out, that is easier said than done. Recently, a pair of downtown business owners offered to foot the (substantial) bill for a big sidewalk extension along Mears Park (one of downtown's burgeoning hot spots). They offered to remove a block of parking spaces and replace them with a far wider sidewalk that would accommodate outdoor street café dining along the park. (This is notable because business owners almost never agree to remove parking spaces in front of their stores, and because no city dollars would be used in the project.)

Well, the plan is running into opposition from people in the neighborhood: some downtown developers, the Farmer's Market, and others worried about a few parking spaces. This is exactly the wrong attitude. Replacing on-street parking spaces with sidewalks and cafés is exactly what St Paul should be doing all through the downtown.

The era of the indoor department store skyway café is over.  The era of the sidewalk café is here. The closing of the St Paul Macy's is a good thing, and we should look forward to knocking down this urban equivalent of an 8-track player and replacing it with something that has a future.

Reading the Highland Villager #54

[The Villager stops cold winter drafts.]

[Basically the problem is that the best source of Saint Paul streets & sidewalks news is the Highland Villager, a very fine and historical newspaper. This wouldn't be a problem, except that its not available online. You basically have to live in or frequent Saint Paul to read it. That's why I'm reading the Highland Villager so that you don't have to. Until this newspaper goes online, sidewalk information must be set free.] 



Total # of articles about sidewalks: 13
Total # of articles about sidewalks written by Jane McClure: 10

Headline: Riverfront land use plan flows swiftly toward final resolution
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: The master plan for St Paul's riverfront, called "The Great River Passage" [for some reason?], is done and open to comment by the neighborhood groups. Includes quote from neighborhood people who'd like more time to peruse the plan. Includes some details of plan: "nature-based recreation" that include "public-private partnerships", and a development proposal for the [drop dead beautiful] abandoned red brick power plant. [The article uses the word "natural" or "nature" only three times! Remarkable restraint. -Ed.] Includes times/places for public meetings.

 

Headline: Size matters in early debate over state bonding bill; DFLers argue for a larger bill as way to create jobs and stimulate economy
Reporter: Kevin Driscoll

Short short version: Report on bonding bill debate, w/ quote from [what seems like all of the] St Paul legislators about need for more investment.

Headline: City's first pitch to Legislature: a new downtown ballpark
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Article on the proposed new Saints stadium in lowertown, emphasizing its inclusion in Governor Dayton’s bonding bill. Includes Saints’ version of the details of proposal: rendering, cost, “jobs” generated, and economic benefits (#10/yr in lowertown). Article also includes other St Paul city council priorities from their recent “legislative agenda”: legislative redistricting that might shrink St Paul’s seats, money for Como park, public television, the Watergate Marina, flood mitigation, and the children’s museum.

 Headline: Ramsey County sets its agenda for new legislative session.
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Article on the similar agenda only at the county level. Specifics include: lane expansion and new interchanges along 694, money for industrial cleanup.

 Headline: District councils will share the pain of federal block grant cuts
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Article on how cuts of federal funding for cities will trickle down to the district councils.

 Headline: McDonald’s in Highland to be rebuilt
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Article on how the McDonald's on W 7^th St is going to be razed and the rebuilt. [The new building will be “the exact same size” as the old one, with very similar drive thru and parking lot moat design. –Ed.] Includes details about the Planning Commission’s zoning committee, which wants better landscaping. Includes details such as existence of McDonalds’ USA executive “Roy Crouston”, who helps franchise owners design their buildings. Includes the following quote about Crouston: “He noted that most cities have requiremnts for minimum parking, not maximum.”  Includes drawing of site plan.

 Headline: Local residents seek amendments to plan for Griggs Street bike blvd
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Article on the public hearing before the city council about the proposed bike boulevard on Griggs Street, which would have small roundabouts to calm traffic to create a bike boulevard. Article focuses on neighbor reactions and quote, people confused about why the boulevard is being built. [People including my dad and step-mom, who live a block from Griggs, and were among the testifiers opposed to the bike boulevard. Yes. Yes, they were. –Ed.] Example of a public comment: “I’m lucky if I see one bike go by each week … I can’t understand why this is being done.” Article includes some explanation from council members CM Stark and Brendmoen about usefulness of bike boulevards, and in the final paragraph, some costs figures including detail about federal funding stream. [NOTE: the proposal passed after they removed only one of the roundabouts, the one on Dayton, because of pressure from CM Carter. The roundabout next to my parents house IS going to be built. They won’t mind. –Ed.]

Headline: Nothing more than window dressing
Reporter: Michael Mischke

Short short version: Editorial about recent new city sign ordinance claiming that it won’t really have any effects because 1) there are so many “special sign districts”, 2) the inspectors won’t enforce the rules because they don’t like or are too busy, and 3) the existing signs are grandfathered in, which has let to an avalanche of signage being placed in windows before the new rules take effect. [Actually, I find myself, for the first time, agreeing with Mr. Mischke. –Ed.]

 Headline: SHA, law firm appeal parking variance for Cupcake on Grand
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Article on the long long saga of the Cupcake cupcake store and [delicious] bakery [which is trying to open a new store in a old failed clothing boutique on Grand Avenue]. The local district council is pissed about the parking variance [which allowed the bakery NOT to build seven new parking spots off the street]. The board of zoning appeals (BZA) recently granted the bakery a variance.

Headline: Emily Program drops plans to run eating program in old Bush Home
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Article on the end of an attempt to re-use an old children’s home building for a eating disorder clinic. The Article includes quote from the clinic and the developer about too many restrictions, points to the role of the St Paul planning Commission, which wanted “conditions” on their “non-conforming” use limiting the number of beds and kinds of activites that could occur in the building. Includes quotes from SPPC  folks saying that neighbors should not have to negotiate with a non-conforming [its in an area zoned residential] institution.

Headline: Mpls. To reopen Howe School in 2013; Growign district will spend $45 million to refurbish 3 buildlings
Reporter: Kevin Driscoll

Short short version: Article on the elementary school at 37^th Street and 43^rd Avenue, which will be remodeled. Includes photo of the school from 1927.

Headline: Discussions continue over plans for Pizza Luce parking
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Update on the debate over the construction of more parking spaces for the Selby Avenue Pizza Luce, focusing on a recent district council committee meting and public hearing. (There will be another meting Tuesday 1/31 at 6:00 at the western district police station.) The issue is headed to the city council, and involves the setback rules for building parking lots. Article includes a quizzical quote from the local neighborhood group leader, who doesn’t understand why the construction of off-street parking is seen as a bad thing. [It’s like the exact opposite story from the earlier Cupcake article. It seems like you’re parked if you do, and you’re parked if you don’t. It seems like you’re up a dead-end alley without a spot to turnaround. It seems like you’re out of the on-street frying pan, and into the off-street fire. –Ed.]

Headline: Catering company seeks to open in Casa Vieja spot on W. 7^th; Renovation plans include offering music, bar and restaurant on main floor
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: A caterer called “complete beverage service” is trying to open a new bar / club in at a spot on West 7^th Street [that used to house what I can only assume was a Mexican restaurant?]. The district council is OK with it. The name of the restaurant “has not yet been announced.” [I hope its a better name than "complete beverage service." -Ed.]

Last Minute Amendment Strips Traffic Calming from Jefferson Bike Boulevard

[The Jefferson "test median", circa 2010.]

The story of the St Paul Jefferson Avenue bicycle boulevard is long and ugly, and is finally (maybe) coming to an end tonight. There's a meeting down at city hall this evening, where the City Council is going to most likely pass a compromise plan that strips out a lot of the traffic calming circles from the project.

The Story So Far

The problem is that the idea of bicycle boulevards are relatively new to a town like St Paul. They're streets designed to give pedestrians and bicyclists priority, to calm traffic speeds down to the point where only 'local' traffic is using it. They're intended to create spaces where auto speeds are far closer to bicycle speeds. In theory, boulevards are designed so that cars drive around 20 miles per hour, a speed at which any collision is very unlikely to result in the death or injury of small children, grandmothers, cyclists, or people out walking their dog. In theory, these kinds of streets would be seen as an amenity in the neighborhoods where they're constructed, as they create calm, quiet, walkable neighborhoods, accessible by car, that raise property values and quality of life for nearby homes and people.

Anyway, that's the theory. In the actual real world of Highland Park, St Paul, traffic calming that creates safe quiet streets is perceived as a quasi-fascist assault on the inherent freedoms of the automobile individual. (Or, at least that's true if you get your news from Soucheray.)

That might be exaggerating just a hair, because actually the project has received a lot of support and/or ambivalent shrugs. But for various reasons the proposed bicycle boulevard down Jefferson Avenue has for few years now been seen as controversial. The project has gone through a few different iterations, and finally now, after a huge number of community meetings involving hundreds of people, and after the city's Public Works department has spent countless hours doing research and analysis, a compromise plan has emerged that seemingly everyone can mostly agree about.

This plan isn't perfect. For example, it doesn't include any diverters that are common in bicycle boulevards elsewhere. These kinds of diverters do a lot to move 'through' traffic onto adjacent streets, while making sure that pedestrians and bicyclists can safely cross the busier streets that have higher traffic speeds (such as Cleveland and Cretin Avenues). You can see for yourself how these kinds of diverters work in South Minneapolis, where they seem to have not caused any kind of automotive apocalypse.

[An innocuous bike boulevard traffic diverter in Minneapolis.]

[Another Minneapolis boulevard diverter. Incidentally, neither of these diverters have caused the collapse of freedom and democracy.]

Anyway, the final St Paul proposal got rid of these kinds of traffic calming treatments in favor of traffic circles, which you will find elsewhere in the city. Traffic circles are a good compromise, I guess, because they do a nice job of 'calming' through the use of actual concrete that slows down speeds and makes streets safer for pedestrians and cyclists. Not only that, but traffic circles have little gardens on them! These circles have the potential to turn Jefferson Avenue into the kind of space where your kid might play football (as I did growing up with my brothers and sister on St Paul's Portland Avenue).

The Last Minute Deal

Or at least, that's the hope. I've heard that the proposal, passed unanimously through the Transportation Committee and the Planning Commission, is going to be semi-gutted by a last minute amendment during the City Council meeting this evening (5:30 - 6:30, roughly). From what I've heard, the new last minute deal will strip out all but two of the traffic circles from the project, while getting rid of the pedestrian crosswalk signage at the two busy streets, Cretin and Cleveland Avenues. This last minute deal will leave only two real traffic calming treatments on the Western portion of the bicycle boulevard: the traffic circle at Davern street and the one at Finn Street (which isn't scheduled to be built until 2017).

[The Public Works plan showing two of the traffic circles that won't be built under the new deal.]

To my mind, the last minute deal raises two key questions:

• Should the council ignore all the public process that's happened so far, in favor of a backroom deal that has never seen the light of day? 

• Is a bicycle boulevard without much traffic calming still a bicycle boulevard? 

I don't really know the answers to these questions. On the first, I want badly to say "No!" I want to say that the council shouldn't throw over a whole bunch of public meetings in favor of a few opinions of a few decisions makers.

But, on the other hand, most public processes are fraught with problems. If you hold a community meeting on some issue, the people that are most likely to show up are people with a lot of time and/or money on their hands. Those are the people with a voice, that provide "community input."

Meanwhile, not attending the meeting are many other people who almost never participate - people who rent, people with more than one job, young people, people with language barriers. Elected officials need to make decisions with the entire community in mind, not just those people with expensive homes and lots of hard-to-get phone numbers in their phones.

The second question is just as difficult to answer. To my mind, bicycle boulevards are a no brainer. They are streets that don't really mess with the status quo, as people can still drive around their neighborhoods, park on their streets, use their driveways, etc. But they're also streets that really emphasize and welcome the modes of transportation (bicycling, walking) that are the future of our cities. If St Paul wants to attract young people, or be safe for families, or be a place where old people can get around with dignity, they need to build streets that place people first. They have an opportunity to do this right now, basically for free, and it's too bad that it seems like they're going to do a half-assed job of it.

I guess something is better than nothing, here. But I really don't understand why the city cannot pass a common-sense measure that will improve the lives of almost all of the people who live here. Really the only people who 'lose out' when you build a bicycle boulevard are people who enjoy driving too fast through residential neighborhoods. Should we really make public decisions with them in mind?

In five years, nobody living nearby will think bicycle boulevards are a big deal. Neighbors will actually like the traffic circles once they are built. They'll blend into the background of the city and grow flowers. Ideally, Jefferson will subtly shift into a more quiet beautiful safe street for all types of people. Ideally, it'll be a place where even my mom would feel comfortable riding a bicycle and getting exercise on her way to the Highland Grill without feeling like she's 'in the way' of a pickup truck speeding down the hill.

That's the hope. I fear that today's vote will be somewhat different. It'd be nice if the City Council would pass a plan that really calmed traffic along this route. It'd be nice is St Paul embraced a healthy future.

The council meeting is tonight at 5:30 in the basement of City Hall. Show up and testify if you agree!

 [A traffic circle amenity welcomed by its neighbors in Portland, OR.]

[A traffic circle amenity welcomed by its neighbors in Portland, OR.]

Reading the Highland Villager #59

[The Villager lingers on a stoop.]

[Basically the problem is that the best source of Saint Paul streets & sidewalks news is the Highland Villager, a very fine and historical newspaper. This wouldn't be a problem, except that its not available online. You basically have to live in or frequent Saint Paul to read it. That's why I'm reading the Highland Villager so that you don't have to. Until this newspaper goes online, sidewalk information must be set free.] 


Total # of articles about sidewalks: 12
Total # of articles about sidewalks written by Jane McClure: 10


Headline: St Paul releases ‘unworkable’ plan for limiting spread of student rentals [Surprisingly critical headline for the Villager. Are they becoming more of a journalistic gadfly? Is Jane McClure the next big muckraker?]
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Story on the latest development in the plan to reign in the unending creep of St Thomas students through the neighborhood near St Thomas. The proposed ordinance, which will be up for debate at the planning commission on the May 4th meeting, would restrict the number of homes that would allow “students” to live in them that can be in the area from St Clair to I-94, and from the river to Snelling Avenue. [NOTE: I am on the commission, btw.] Article points out that the ordinance is almost single handedly the impulse of CM Stark [who is otherwise really good on transportation / sidewalk /bike and walk issues. note that for some reason it’s OK to discriminate against Tommies. Imagine if they passed an ordinance that restricted the number of African-Americans or Mormons that could live in an area. Are Tommies the last remaining discriminable group in America? –Ed]. Story highlights the heated debate that occurred when the planning commission passed the proposed ordinance. Article quotes Commissioner Oliver: “It’s not a student problem, it’s a housing supply problem.” Article includes the phrase “tenuous legal territory.”  Anyway, I will have more on this soon. It's the next big St Paul debate. Who woulda thunk it? -Ed.]

Headline: City approves revised plan for Jefferson Bikeway; but not before removing three new traffic circles
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Report on the recent city council meeting where the Jefferson bikeway was approved. [See also: my liveblog of the meeting.] Article details CM Tolbert’s removal of the traffic calming traffic circles. Includes quote from transit for liveable communities (TLC) head Barb Thoman” We’re disappointed.” Includes description of the testimony by “a dozen bicyclists and Macalester-Groveland residents” who were upset with the changes, particularly stuff about public process. Article ends with an anti-bike boulevard quote [seemingly put there for balance] and a short history of the project.

Headline: Developer unveils plans for 20-unit apartment at Grand-Finn; some neighbors raise concerns over size of five-story building
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Description of proposed new development at Grand and Finn that would house “as many as 80 students of the University of St Thomas.” [There goes the neighborhood! –Ed.] Article includes the phrase “neighbors expressed concerns about … disruptive student behavior.” Two homes on Grand would have to be torn down. Article includes at least two quotes from neighbors saying things like “family neighborhood” and “stick out like a sore thumb.” The developer’s last name is “Merry.”

Headline: Hopefuls wish upon STAR funding [Worst headline pun this fortnight?]

Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Article on the projects that are competing for a $5.5M pot of city development tax money. Projects include the Saints stadium, the Schmidt brewery, Selby avenue streetscaping, an affordable housing project on University Avenue, and assorted other renovations and building projects.

Headline: Lucky’s to reopen Ran-Ham gas station
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: The gas station and corner store at Randolph and Hamline across from Cretin Durham Hall is going to re-open under the name “Lucky’s.”

Headline:  BZA takes a shine to variance for Summit Ave. solar panels [Is this a pun? I guess it is.]

Reporter: Jane McClure
Short short version: The Board of Zoning Appeals (BZA) approved the variance for the person that put solar panels at the back of their yard. Somehow these solar panels aren’t controversial. [I can easily imagine the public meeting, where lots of people being their testimony with the words “I’m all for solar energy, but…” –Ed.]

Headline: Flood of comments delays vote on great River Passage [Best pun this fortnight?]
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Lots of people have opinions and questions about the plan for the big park along the Mississippi river. The parks commission is going to push back their vote to May 9th.

Headline: St Paul grants noise variances for late-night light-rail work
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Contractors building the train can work at night sometimes.

Headline: Coleman veto puts the icing on cupcake [A more obvious pun, yes. Probably 2nd best of the issue?]
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: Article on the [excellent] highly politically odd [and bureaucratically science-fictiony] resolution to the Grand Avenue cupcake situation, which involved the icty council and mayor collaborating to allow the business to open despite th concerns of the neighborhood about parking. Article includes quote from Mayor Coleman: “St. Paul is open for business.” [Note: this is the same exact phrase that Scott Walker used when he was elected governor of Wisconsin. –Ed.]

Headline: Thirteen homes eyed for Crocus’ New Hill
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: A development proposal was shown to the public. There will be thirteen single family homes in the spot where Visitation school used to be. Neighbors are concerned about what the homes will look like, and want an “architectural control committee.”

Headline: Editorial: Last-minute changes to Jefferson Bikeway ride roughshod over citizen participation process
Reporter: Colleen Williams-Freier

Short short version: Guest editorial [in place of Editor Mischke's usual screed] on the Jefferson bike boulevard [fiasco?] resolution. Writer "expresses ... frustration" with the final CM Tolbert-sponsored last-minute plan [which stripped out the three traffic circles], mostly on the grounds of un-democratic process, the extensive public engagement / public process work that went into the penultimate compromise plan. Includes the question: "How dare he ignore people's work since 2008?" Includes phrase: "This is not an acceptable way to govern a city." [Interesting that the Villager would publish an editorial that is now 180-degrees opposite from where they were previously on the bike boulevard. The rather incendiary reporting from Villager was one of the reasons that the bike boulevard became such a ridiculous political hot button in the first place, was it not? Anyway, now they're angry about Tolbert's 'ward-boss' type backroom deal thing. -Ed.]

Headline: Editorial: Meeting the neighbors: UST student finds reason for hope
Reporter: Michael Orth

Short short version: Guest editorial by a St Thomas student, reprinted from the Tommie newspaper. It's about his attendance at a neighborhood group meeting, and how awkward but somewhat satisfying it was. Editorial attempts to find a way to achieve peace and reconciliation between Tommies and NIMBY-Tommie neighbors. Says things like: "the vast majority on both sides are seeking a positive relationships -- one that fosters a healthy and vibrant community and supports productive dialogue." [Haha. Well, young peeople are supposed to be idealistic, aren't they? If they can solve the great Tommie/anti-Tommie battle, maybe there is hope for Israel/Palestine? -Ed.]

Reading the Highland Villager #42 (August 3rd - 17th Edition)

[Basically the problem is that the best source of Saint Paul streets & sidewalks news is the Highland Villager, a very fine and historical newspaper. This wouldn't be a problem, except that its not available online. You basically have to live in or frequent Saint Paul to read it. That's why I'm reading the Highland Villager so that you don't have to. Until this newspaper goes online, sidewalk information must be set free.]

Total # of articles about sidewalks: 11
Total # of articles about sidewalks written by Jane McClure: 9


Headline: Mannillo challenges endorsed Tolbert in Ward 3; Candidate takes issue with conduct of DFL endorsing convention
Reporter: Kevin Driscoll

Short short version: The runner-up for the DFL endorsement in Ward 3's (Highland Park's) city council race is going to stay in the race. Article includes list of alleged convention shenanigans [all of which are par for the course... DFL endorsement conventions are political equivalent of a trained cat circus. -Ed.]

Headline: City's seemingly yearly exercise in fiscal belt-tightening begins; State's unexpected $12 million cut in LGA has St. Paul scrambling for more cost savings
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: The recent budget agreement cut $12M from St Paul's Local Government Aid money. The city has a hiring freeze in place. Article includes no other details. Article includes the fact that “next year could be worse.”

Headline: Inpatient facility, five single-family lots proposed for Bush site
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: People in the Summit Hill area are nervous about how a new clinic for people with eating disorders will impact parking in the neighborhood. [In other news, mosquitoes bite your legs more often at dusk. -Ed.] An old empty building is being turned into the latest Emily Program clinic at the corner of Osceola and Grotto [in a fancy fancy part of town]. Includes anonymous quote from one neighbor woman about the increased use of the back alley: “steam is coming out of my ears.”

Headline: Jefferson Ave. traffic diverter may come to a vote Aug. 17 [Note the use of the noun 'traffic diverter' in place of the noun 'bike boulevard'.]
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: The latest in the [interminable, frustrating, asinine, petty, petulant, Neanderthal] debate over the Jefferson Bike Boulevard. The [see previous list] Mac-Groveland Community Council is going to make a recommendation [they recently abstained from taking a side on the issue, if my Pioneer Press headline was correct]. The issue of whether or not to build traffic medians [like the ones along the Riverlake Greenway on 40th over in Minneapolis, which somehow got built without a great deal of hair-pulling and Soucheray-inspired car politics hystrionics] will come to a vote this month in all likelihood before the City Council. [The issue poses a political pickle for the Council, as it challenges the typical turf-centric stance that the Council likes to adopt, whereby each Council Member is allowed to effectively 'veto' projects in his or her own ward. Because outgoing District 3 CM Pat Harris does not approve of the pedestrian median, will the rest of the Council go against his wishes? Will the political lobby of the transportation non-profits such as TLC be able to outweigh the voices of Harris, poopular car columnist Soucheray, and assorted NIMBY neighbors? Stay tuned! Same time, same channel. -Ed.] Article includes tedious detailed history of Cleveland Bike Boulevard issue, including the [infamous farcical] “test phase.”

Headline: Wild Onion's suit against city for patio license moved to federal court
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: The owners of the [terrible] Grand Avenue bar / club Wild Onion have sued the City of St. Paul over the allegedly unfair enforcement policies over liquor licenses. The $50K suit is now in federal court. Article includes tedious detailed history of Wild Onion's patio liquor license issue, including the [infamous farcical] 90% consent petition requirement.

Headline: Council awards STAR funds for bike repair shop, other local
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: A bike shop at Lexington and Hamline called “Youth Express” got a $8,500 grant for renovation from the city. Because of the money a bike mechanic will get a full-time job. Other things also got grants, including two churches and a handicapped-accessible apartment building. Some people did not get grants.

Headline: Public lines up on both sides of House of Hope fence issue
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: A garden with a rabbit-proof fence built by a [large] Summit Avenue church is being challenged by ex-members of the Heritage Preservation Commission. Fence qualities found particularly egregious include its size, its “cedar and galvanized steel composition.” Article includes quote from CM Carter III stating that he will not make the church tear down the fence. [I do hope that this issue becomes a perennial evergreen Highland Villager bit, extending this debate for many many years into the future. -Ed.]

Headline: Editorial: What would Jefferson Say?
Reporter: Michael Mischke

Short short version: [Typically embittered] editorial from Publisher Mischke on how the bike boulevard, and the larger “so-called Bike Walk Twin Cities initiative” are destroying America, undermining the “values of self-sufficiency, self-government, and individual responsibility” and likely have [Thomas] “Jefferson rolling in his grave in Monticello.” Article includes [odd] claim that Publisher Mischke doesn't “have a dog in the fight over the addition of the traffic diverter.” [Article is accompanied by a rather neutral editorial cartoon featuring a bicycle and a debate.]

Headline: Federation begins renovating former brewery offices, rathskeller
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: [After all these years] the old Schmidt Brewery is being restored by the West 7th/Fort Road Federation. It will be ready by next year. Includes admittance that the air inside the rathskeller was “dank.”

Headline: Despite service cuts, taxes are expected to rise in Ramsey County
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: See above headline, earlier story on LGA.

Headline: With cleanup under way, city eyes 2012 reopening of Jimmy Lee fields
Reporter: Jane McClure

Short short version: The land for the proposed ball fields near the Jimmy Lee rec center is being cleaned up. The fields will be open by next year.

Reading the Highland Villager #182

[Tired, huddled Villager at the feet of a statue of liberty.]

[Basically the problem is that the best source of Saint Paul streets & sidewalks news is the Highland Villager, a very fine and historical newspaper. This wouldn't be a problem, except that its not available online. You basically have to live in or frequent Saint Paul to read it. Until this newspaper goes online, sidewalk information must be set free. See also: Three Reasons Why I Re-Blog the Highland Villager.] 

Headline: Nine-year effort to create new park in St. Paul’s Midway area nears fruition
Author: Kevin Driscoll

Short short version: An old empty parking lot that used be the pit stop for traveling circuses 80 years ago will probably become a city park soon. People in the neighborhood, especially kids from the next-door high school, are brainstorming what to do with the space. [See my article on this topic from last fall.]  The city owns the land and a non-profit was involved in purchasing it for the yet-unnamed park. [Gordon Parks Park would be fun, but probably won’t happen because it’s confusing.] Article includes history of the years-long community organizing process, quotes from students, East African people who live in the nearby housing tower, and non-profit folks. Quote from one of the East African folks: “This park will mean so much to Skyline residents. Right now to get any real exercise, they have to cross (the ped bridge over 94).”


Headline: Citizen groups debate merits of master plan for Ford site
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: Some people think the Ford site is fine. Others think it is too dense. Neighbors are concerned about traffic and parking (NACATAP). Quote from “too dense” guy: “Drive on Cretin Avenue during rush hour. The traffic is bad now. You end up in a caravan.” Quote from “pro” guy: "What’s planned takes care of a lot of different needs in the area.” [Obvi traffic on Cretin is not going away. Transit is a really cool concept to explore for folks concerned about traffic. I have written about this already if you’re curious. It all boils down to the idea that “too much traffic” is a terrible reason to limit development in a city. "Too much traffic" is not one of Saint Paul's important problems.]


Headline: St. Paul JCC lays groundwork for $13M expansion project
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The Jewish Community Center in Highland is expanding. [I sang in musicals at the JCC when I was a kid, and took piano lessons there every week for a decade. The used to have a free Frogger arcade game in the basement, which might have subconsciously prepared me for crossing the street in Highland, now that I think about it.]


Headline: St. Paul rinds funds to grind stumps, replace lost ash trees
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The stumps from the trees that were cut down because of a invasive boring bug [#KSPB] will be removed now thanks to [the couch in the Mayor’s office] the City Council finding some “contingency funds.” Quote from CM Bostrom: “Next year’s budget is going to be tough.” [Spoiler: Saint Paul is broke. We really need to expand the tax base.]


Headline: Committee favors plan for duplexes on vacant Merriam Park corner
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: A neighborhood group voted in favor of building two duplexes on a vacant lot. They will be right next to the freeway but will have solar panels. They will have a curb cut even though some neighbors don’t like the idea.


Headline: Century-old Holly Ave. house will receive new lease on life
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: A guy with an old house got an approval from the Board of Zoning Appeals (BZA) to renovate part of it.


Headline: St. Paul pedestrian plan moves another stop closer with grant [See what they did there?]
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The City got a $50K grant to work on its pedestrian plan. [I’m gonna guess sidewalks will be involved.]


Headline: St. Paul seeks buyer for former fire station on Randolph Ave.
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: There’s an abandoned fire station for sale. It’s from 1885.


Headline: Council lays over rezoning request for St. Clair-Snelling lots; High-density zoning will not be reviewed with the rezoning of Snelling south of I-94
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The City Council voted to “lay over” the decision to re-zone some land along Snelling to TN3 (traditional neighborhood 3) zoning. A developer wants to build a building there where some small strip mall-type buildings were located. There is a study going on to do rezoning to TN-zoning all along Snelling here. Quote from one neighbor: "If we can’t do TN3 zoning along Snelling, then where is it appropriate?” [Minneapolis’ South Lyndale Avenue is maybe a good “comp” for Snelling here. See some of the developments there.] Neighbors are concerned about whether the developer lives in Minnesota and neighborhood character.


Headline: City, county unveil plans for reusing reservoir site in Highland
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The City is getting rid of a “water reservoir” and might put something else in its place like ice rinks or a field. The reservoir is from 1926. There’s probably not much money to do anything expensive.


Headline: MnDOT workshops envision future of I-94
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The state DOT is going a “process” to create “visioning” for the future of the interstate. [Here’s a vision: lots of cars. See also my appearance in the documentary on this topic.]


Headline: Kayak rental service paddles its way to Hidden Falls Park
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: You will be able to rent a kayak at one spot on the Mississippi and travel downriver to another spot on the Mississippi and drop it off. [Actually this is cool! Are there Nice Ride stations nearby also? You could kayak one way and bike the other.] It’s called “Paddle Share.”


Headline: For lack of traffic calming, city downgrades bike boulevard
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The bike boulevard in Mac-Grove is so crappy that it got “demoted” from the City bike map. [What an ignominious end to the epic and politically fraught saga of the Jefferson Avenue Bike Boulevard.] Quote from a guy in the neighborhood group: “Bicyclists will choose designated bikeways over alternative routes based on the assumption that bikeways are safer and have less competition with motor vehicles. This is particularly concerning for families with children and inexperienced bicyclists who aren’t prepared for biking in the same lane as fast-moving motor vehicles. By designating the buys Jefferson Avenue corridor as a bikeway without adding traffic calming measures, we may be encouraging bicyclists to take a more dangerous route.” The neighbors would like traffic calming instead but apparently cannot stand the status quote. [The city could fix this with a $100K diverter median at Hamline by the school there, but I am guessing there is no appetite from CM Tolbert to re-open this can of worms, even on behalf of safety. Given how much effort went into this project, this is depressing. Sad!]

Headline: Pilot Knob joins national historic register
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: A sacred Dakota site across the river from the airport is now on the National Register of Historic Places. [People should use its Dakota name, which is “oheyawahi”, meaning “a hill much visited.”]

Headline: Early closing sought for disgusting skyway
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: A woman who’s father owns a lot of buildings has become really upset about homeless people in the skyways in the evenings. Others are upset about homeless people also. [Seems to me that hiring security guards might be a solution. But honestly, there is no solution to the public/private problem of skyways.] The owner of the building wants to be able to close their skyway at 8pm but the committee that governs the skyway hours does not want to grant that because then everyone will want to do it [and skyways are a network, many of which, in Saint Paul, were built with public dollars]. [It’s complicated.]


Headline: Back to the basics: Grand Old Day returns June 4 with even more squeezed into one day
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: Grand Old Day will be only one day this year. [kmx. (comment added by my cat; not sure what it means.)]

Reading the Highland Villager #11 (February 10 Edition)

[Basically, the problem is that the best source of local streets & sidewalks news in Saint Paul is the Highland Villager. This wouldn't be a problem, except that its not available online. I'm reading the Highland Villager so that you don't have to. Until this newspaper goes online, sidewalk information must be set free.]


Total # of articles about sidewalks: 7
Total # of articles about sidewalks written by Jane McClure: 6


Title: Commissioners reject revised site plan for new Walgreens store
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: Yet another story on the endless Walgreen's/Snyder's Ford Parkway affair. Planning Commission unapproved a previous approval of a “site plan” for a new drug store on the corner of Ford Pkwy and Finn St. Article points out how many new members of the commission there are now, and the new members cited the problem that the plan “follows the pattern of auto-oriented land uses, does not bring a mixed-use development to Highland”.

Also, a few commission members argued that the corner has too many vacant storefronts already. The corner entrance is also apparently not really at the corner [a la the atrocious CVS pharmacy at Snelling and University. -ed.].


Title: Decision made on Coldwater Spring Site: Demolition of federal bldgs, restoration of property planned
Author: Kevin Driscoll

Short short version: Eleven “dilapidated” buildings down by the river near Ft Snelling will be demolished, says the Federal Govt.


Title: Light rail chugs on without the benefit of federal funds. State and local officials risk $42M on project that is still awaiting FTA approval.
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: [Alarmist story about] LRT [shenanigans, apparently w/ the hook that the] project is still not approved. [This is par for the course on projets like this? –Ed.]


Title: St Paul won’t collect streetscape assessments until corridor completed
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: St Paul City Council voted to not collect the $2.9M in streetscape assessments from Univ. Ave. property owners until after the LRT line is running in 2014 [knock on wood -Ed.]. Move probably does a lot to assuage nail-biting business owners.


Title: Mixed-use building in Summit hill converted to residential
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: Buidlng at 1041 osceola Avenue that has had both storefronts and apartments from 1921 until 1999 will now be a residential only buidling, according to a vote by the St Paul Planning Commission (sought by the owners). The list of businesses that had been in the building included a grocery store, an ice cream shop, a massage center, and a beauty salon.


Title: Village famer's market OK'd by city Planning Commission
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: St Paul Planning Commission is going to allow a farmer's market in Highland Park this summer. It will be behind the Starbucks every Saturday morning (2078 Ford Parkway).


Title: St Paul considers dropping bid for #1M Jefferson Ave. bike blvd. Residents on the east end of Jefferson want it, those on west end aren't so sure
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: Article detailing how the $750,000 in Federal pilot program money to build a "bike boulevard" [a street designed explicitly for safe biking, which would still allow cars, in the interest of encouraging people who don't bicycle regularly, such as children and older people, to do so. This works because Bike boulevards are far safer than bike lanes. -Ed.] in Saint Paul may get scuttled because of a lack of political ability to change transportation dynamics in the Capitol City. [Once again, this illustrates how Saint Paul can't do anything even remotely revolutionary. Minneapolis is going ahead with bike boulevards, only with far less money devoted to the projects. -Ed.] The sticking point is the citizens on the West End of the street, where neither the Macalester-Groveland neighborhood group, nor City Coucilmember Pat Harris, is supporting the project.

Update: According to my research, this issue has since been laid over twice by the City Council, and will next be on the agenda on March 10th.

Joe Soucheray Secretly Likes Bicycle Boulevards

[Rough sketch of Joe's thought process: turning right until you turn left.]

Under normal circumstances, I avoid Soucheray column the way Meg Tuthill avoids apologies. Trying to make sense of Joe Soucheray is like playing pinochle with an ATV salesman: you don’t know what the rules are and dialogue only makes it worse.

Soucheray personifies the conservative side of St Paul, in that he's a toothless patriarchal SUV reactionary clinging to a mythological image of the past where change is a four-letter word who somehow channels generous slices of St Paul's id through his pasty lumpy body to project it into a force of NIMBY nature that can flatten bicycles in its path and toss aside local transit projects like a teapot in a tempest. He’s a man making his living recycling false parables of autonomy into a soothing quasi-religion called “garage logic” in a futile attempt to prop up fading local media empires with economic stimulus from Viagra ads.

(Actually, I don't wish him ill. Hell, if "garage logic" means being able to fix it yourself with metal tools, then I’m all for it, though nowadays cars are opaque black boxes with nothing but expensive proprietary technology. And now that I think of it, this could very well be a description of what I do here, if you replaced truck engines with bike chains and a 50s car-soaked historical imaginary with a the image of a streetcar in 1905.)

So the other day, I found myself in a my neighborhood library paging through the St Paul Pioneer Press, our local newspaper. I was trying to find actual news articles about St Paul, which has become more and more difficult to do since the once-important rag has pretty much shrunk down to one actual local reporter for the entire metro area. I was having no luck finding news, until I glanced the ghastly Soucheray visage next to the headline:

Local businesses are in the way of prettier bike rides

Oh no, not again, I muttered, and yes, there was yet another Souche-bag anti-bike diatribe plopped onto the bottom of Section B, which was otherwise nicely festooned with stories of dog shows, petty crime, and a big color image of blonde kids on a slip-and-slide. I sighed, and read through a few of the predictably paranoid paragraphs before shoving the paper aside in favor of he slightly-less-useless Minneapolis daily.

For the next few weeks I tried to lead my life as if I didn’t live in a reactionary city, as if the civic culture surrounding me wasn’t dominated by a misanthropic troll.

Still, something didn’t sit right. At nights I tossed and turned while Soucheray’s gnarled ghost materialized in my dreams right next to Shatner. Something was amiss. Something didn’t add up...

Restless, I pried myself out of bed, flopped into my slippers, turned on my computer, and opened the saved file of Soucheray’s anti-bicycle column. In the dark hours of the night, I was surprised at what I found. Soucheray begins with a simple statement of fact:

Transit for Livable Communities next intends to turn Charles Avenue in St. Paul into a bicycle boulevard from about Rice Street to North Aldine Street, two blocks west of Snelling Avenue.

But then he drops a revelation:

Charles Avenue could stand a bit of beautification, if, in fact, roundabouts, bumpouts, medians, landscaping and sidewalk art are not ultimately rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Charles Avenue has become a bit of rough and tumble below, say, Victoria Street and is not exactly the first street that comes to mind when Mom wants to take the kids for a bike ride.

This paragraph should shock you. Read without sarcastic scare quotes, taken at face value, Joe Soucheray might very well stating his support for a  bicycle and pedestrian project if, in fact, attempting to divine the a literal meaning in his columns isn’t like re-wiring the neon signs in Block E.

He continues with some more bitter approval:

But let's give the unelected activists who have gotten their mitts on federal grant money -- your money -- the benefit of the doubt. For much of Charles Avenue, such improvements might very well introduce a note of civic integrity. The roundabouts alone might prevent morons from getting their crotch rockets up to about 110 mph in a two-block stretch.

[If Soucheray were a cute cartoon bear...]

Granted, that’s kind of like when I say, “let’s give this leathery snipe making his living sewing distorted animosity the benefit of the doubt.” But still, the literal meaning of these words suggests that Soucheray likes traffic calming. That he couches his admiration with desultory scorn is just a unique character trait, akin to the one grey Care Bear with the raincloud on its belly.

While a precursory reading of Soucheray’s column suggests that the entire thing should be read with the tone of the sarcastic kid from junior high, my background in literary analysis suggest an alternative interpretation, that the tone here contains a poignant tinge of tragic irony at Soucheray’s bizarre fate, that a once vituperative detestable naysayer has become a reluctant admirer of traffic calming and walkable urbanism.

Soucheray continues his column with a few halfhearted complaints about the light rail train (and even those aren’t so bad), before describing the troubles of an upset business owner. Yeah, OK.

The rest of the article is beside the point. Read charitably, ol’ Joe favors the Charles Avenue bicycle boulevard. He wraps up his column by saying, “it might just work, both as an improvement to an avenue that needs some freshening and as a calming balm for those heathens still relying on the old minivan,” before ending with the admittal that the bicycle boulevard is “possibly even productive.”

I don’t’ know. Perhaps Soucheray has a love of the city shoved extraordinarily deep within him, buried like a family secret. Perhaps his strange ode to winter bicyclists from a few years back was an odd moment of truth, an eye of understanding in a hurricane of spittle.

I do know that I’ll sleep better knowing that Joe Soucheray is coming around on bike boulevards and walkable streets. It almost makes me pause to reconsider some of my long-held assumptions. Maybe someday soon there’ll be a grocery store in downtown St Paul, bicycle punks hanging out by the downtown train station, people leaving the skyways to eat lunch in parks, and St Thomas students sweeping the sidewalks of Summit Avenue.

I can dream, can’t I?*

[People leaving downtown St Paul office buildings to eat at food trucks outside.]

*Damn you Shatner!