I was standing on the Grand Avenue sidewalk the other day, enjoying the cold sunshine on one of the most pedestrian-friendly streets in town. I drank my coffee and watched this mother cross the street with her kid, and as a car slowed down to make sure she got across allright, all of a sudden this dude in the car behind started leaning on the horn because the first car wasn't moving faster. Dude was repeatedly honking and I watched the fat guy leaning back in his seat tailgate the car down Grand, through the Macalester College stretch that has those pedestrian islands and students everywhere . . .
I just wanted to grab the nearest piece of outdoor furniture and smash in the guy's windshield. "Stupid shitbag!," I wanted to say, "this is a calm, neighborhood street! *!@&!!!" I would smash the dude's windshield as I jumped on the hood, grabbed the fat-ass by the parka, and pulled him out of his old Toyota and threw him on the ground until he apologized and promised to calm down, drive slowly, and watch for pedestrians.
Of course, all I could do is watch and mutter . . . but nothing gets me madder than road rage. Goddamn!