Reading the Highland Villager #146

[See note at bottom.]

[Basically the problem is that the best source of Saint Paul streets & sidewalks news is the Highland Villager, a very fine and historical newspaper. This wouldn't be a problem, except that its not available online. You basically have to live in or frequent Saint Paul to read it. Until this newspaper goes online, sidewalk information must be set free. See also: Three Reasons Why I Re-Blog the Highland Villager.]  


Headline: Ford Site Planning Task Force nears finish with a final review in January
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The task force that has met many times over the last two years to ask people what to do with the site of the old truck factory is finally meeting to talk about what to do. [IMO Riverview transit should go as close as possible to this site so that the development there isn't tied to cars; it's the only way to get density without increasing car travel, such a great opportunity to wed together transportation and land use in Saint Paul in one fell swoop.]  The City will use "city powers" like "zoning and the layout of streets and parks" to guide development. [Kinda like this.] The main thing right now is pollution testing and cleanup plans. The article also mentions the Koch fuel tank farm situation off West 7th Street as historical context. [Wet blanket!]


Headline: Stadium advisory plotting spinoff development; Soccer team, Midway Center owners are coordinating their plans for entire 34.5 site [Not sure if "plotting" is an attempt at a real estate pun or an attempt to invoke a dastardly mustachio'd fellow, or both. See also footnote at bottom.]
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: A new soccer stadium is being built on a large lot at Snelling and University that has been dominated for decades by strip mall parking lots. A committee is meeting to generate ideas for design of the stadium and the land around it. The Deputy Mayor described the committee as a "filter." [Like an oil filter? A coffee filter?] "Redeveloping the site as a walkable destination with safe crossings was the top hope." [About time. See also this.] Also bikes. One committee member wants crime statistics. There are "two master plans." [Made by nefarious master minds?] The owner of the team [and very very rich man] is pleased to see the community. They're doing everything very quickly. MnDOT must approve any changes to streets.


Headline: $2.4M redesign unveiled for downtown's Rice Park
Author: Kevin Driscoll

Short short version: The Garden Club, the Parks Conservancy, and the city are going to spend lots of money to give Rice Park [by far the city's nicest downtown park] a "facelift." [This seems a bit unnecessary, much like the Nicollet Mall re-do. OTOH, if they can get rid of those Peanuts statues, it's a win.] It was last touched up in the year 2000. The city portion is $1.05M. They are now accepting donations. Some plans might include irrigation improvements, turf, new trees, granite pavers, etc. There is a "pro bono" plan. The pathways will be adjusted to be a "true diagonal." [Here's one annoying thing about that. The entrance for the Central Library is in the middle of the block, yet the pathways lead to the corners. Thus most people going to the library cut through the grass, including myself.] Some trees will be removed because of sightlines. Globe lanterns will be replaced. "Bollard path lighting that gives a wash effect." [OK! Who doesn't like a "wash effect?" Now all we need are committees to filter everything, and Saint Paul will be cleaner than ever!] "Colorful display gardens will gird the yew trees..." [I can't take this seriously any more. I'm sorry. I have to stop now.]


Headline: Downtown's Rice Park is almost as old as the city itself
Author: Kevin Driscoll

Short short version: Downtown Rice Park is very old. It had previously been used to "graze animals and hang laundry." [Well that explains the wash effect.] In 1860 Mayor John Prince planted a tree. Lights were installed in 1883 by President Chester A. Arthur himself. Ulysses S. Grant and William Tecumseh Sherman fought a duel here. [I'm kind of making this up at this point. The Villager doesn't say these things. They're not actually true.]  In 1903 it was dubbed "the rendezvous of the engaged." [That should be the city motto, at least to the extent that Saint Paul makes a great backdrop for wedding photos.] The 1965 fountain was designed by Alonzo Hauser. Peanuts statues appeared in 2002. [Please make them go away. Please I beg you.]


Headline: Car2Go shrinks St. Paul service area after low vehicle usage; City Council majority says partial car-sharing service is still better than none
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The City Council approved a smaller area for a car share company on a 4-3 vote. CMs Bostrom, Tolbert, and Thao voted against. CM Bostrom quote: "I remember the song and dance; it seems like a gigantic bait-and-switch." [Kind of operatic, no?] Nobody seems really happy about it. Quote from car2go guy: "All is not necessarily lost." [Also a good candidate for city motto. The Latin translation would be "ly omnia non est necesse perierat." Let's get it on the flag! See also my more lewd blogpost on this subject.]


Headline: New signals, other upgrades in store to make Grand stretch safer
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: A part of Grand Avenue where people trying to walk or bike keep getting injured and killed is receiving some money from the Feds and City to add upgraded countdown timers and audible pedestrian signals, and "blue confirmation lights" to the traffic signals. [OK, so after someone gets killed by a red-light-running driver, now it'll be slightly easier to press charges. What a relief.] Curb extensions or a median island will be installed at Syndicate, along with "continental style crosswalk markings." [Who doesn't like a continental breakfast!] Also at Dunlap, Oxford, Chatsworth, and Milton more bumpouts or a median, plus the crosswalks. [These are great ideas BTW, long overdue. We might see the end of the pedestrian surrender flags once and for all.]


Headline: Highland firehouse addition expected to close service gap
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: They're expanding Fire Station 19 to the tune of $3.4M. "The frequency of the coverage gap continues to grow as calls for fire and emergency medical services (EMS) increase." [Actually, fires are decreasing; the vast majority of calls are for EMS, which do NOT require large ladder trucks. See this chart.] One CIB committee member is upset about how much CIB money is going to fire stations, and would like to find other sources of revenue. [See also this article on that topic.]


Headline: City strives to inform more folks about snow emergencies; Public Works spreads the word about snowplowing and parking bans through websites and social media in 11 different languages
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: If you park on the street, you have to move your car when it snows a lot.


Headline: St. Paul stores oppose effort to limit sale of flavored tobacco
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: Stores make money selling smokes to kids. The city wants to ban it. [I believe this ban passed easily.]


Headline: SHA committee to consider licenses for new Lexington
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: A fancy restaurant that's been closed for years might re-open. They need a liquor license, and want to have a rooftop patio, which will be required to close by 10 pm. Also a "noise impact analysis." [This is where I went to dinner for my high school prom AND my grandma's funeral dinner. Norm Coleman used to hang out here all the time and smoke cigars at the wood-paneled bar through his gapped teeth.]


Headline: St. Paul considers higher fee, other permit parking changes
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The city might raise the amount people pay for their annual fee in parking restricted areas from $10 to $15. It hasn't been raised since 1980. [With inflation, $10 in 1980 would be about $30 today, so...] There will be a public hearing.


Headline: St. Paul offers cardboard box drop-off site for the holidays
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: You can take that stack of boxes to the police parking lot.


Headline: St. Paul limits races to relieve residents of Upper Landing
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The city will not permit as many marathons and stuff so that people can drive around more by the river. Quote from resident that "events create an insane situation for residents." Even better: "We want to see a vibrant neighborhood, but we don't want or need this chaotic vitality with mobs of people, security, barriers, guard rails, and porta-potties." [Ew.]


Headline: Commission reviews permit for CVS drive-through service on Grand Ave.; Committee recommends the permit be denied for pedestrian safety reasons
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: Plans to turn a soon-to-be-abandoned Whole Foods on Grand Avenue into a CVS store with a drive-thru right along the sidewalk were voted down in the Zoning Committee. [They were also shot down in the full Planning Commission meeting, which I am a part of, by unanimous vote.] There were concerns about the interactions between motorists and pedestrians. There are city zoning rules that restrict how close a drive-thru can be to a residence.


Headline: Preschool, day care proposed for site of Hague Ave. church
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: The city might tear down a church and build a Spanish Immersion preschool. The church is 100 years old, but is difficult to re-use. Neighborhood group person calls the new plan a "boring rectangle." [Hey that's shape-ist.]


Headline: Greening of the Green Line; More parks envisioned along University
Author: Jane McClure

Short short version: There will be three new or improved parks along the Green Line area. Iris Park [see also here], Dickerman Park [about which I remain skeptical because of its very odd shape and placement in the median boulevard; see also here], and the park slated for near Gordon Parks high school. [Perhaps they will call it "Parks Park," which will be very confusing.]


Personal note: I have begun listening to Opera while reading the Highland Villager. The drama is much more palpable that way. This time was Rigoletto, still the only opera I have actually seen live (at the Met!). Che sinistro! Che bello!

Twin City Bike Parking #19

[Downtown, Minneapolis.]

[Dayton's Bluff, Saint Paul.]

[Saint Paul.]

[Location forgotten. West Midway, Saint Paul.]

 [Highland, Saint Paul.]

'[Downtown, Minneapolis.]

[Downtown, Saint Paul.]

[Mac-Groveland, Saint Paul.]

Six Suggestions for the Lake Elmo City Planner Job

Being a Lake Elmo city planner is a tough job. Put succinctly, it's like being the drummer of Spinal Tap, only it's not a joke.

See this Pioneer Press article from last summer:

Lake Elmo loses sixth City Hall staffer

The city planner of Lake Elmo has joined the exodus from City Hall.

City officials announced Friday that Nick Johnson was leaving, making him the sixth administrative employee to quit this year.

Several officials and employees have blamed the departures on their treatment by city council members.

"We are in a dire situation," said council member Justin Bloyer.

Mayor Mike Pearson said Johnson will be missed. "He and (planning director Kyle Klatt) have done a great job keeping all the moving parts in sync over the past couple of years," Pearson said.

Bloyer has put a price tag on the city's high turnover -- $250,000. That's the cost of the city's severance packages and the expense of finding replacements, he said.

Those who have left or will be leaving soon are: administrator Dean Zuleger, deputy clerk Beckie Gumatz, assistant city administrator Adam Bell, taxpayer relations manager Alyssa MacLeod and receptionist Stacy Bodsberg.

Or this description of a parking lot brawl between a City Council Member and a local reporter:

It was pushing midnight on Oct. 7 when Smith approached Stillwater Gazette reporter Alicia Ann Lebens. A council meeting had just wrapped up. Smith was supposedly chaffed about a previous story Lebens had written. According to an account written by Lebens after the incident, Smith aggressively confronted her "waving her hands at my face." 

"In her right hand were her car keys, and she had them near my face," she added. "I continued to step backwards." 

Lebens' system was reportedly so rocked by the encounter that she asked to be escorted to her car after future meetings.  

Mayor Mike Pearson was among those who witnessed the incident.

"It was shocking, unusual and telling to me," he told the Pioneer Press last fall.

(Or a thousand other examples going back for a generation.)

Anyway, that's the magic of job creation; they're hiring again in Lake Elmo!

Given the turnover and  office atmosphere that likely rivals that of The Martian, they might be having trouble finding suitable candidates. Here are some "outside the box" suggestions that might work out:

[Lone Lake Elmo citizen protesting the City Hall dysfunction.]

 
### A Norweigian blue parrot

Pros: Can teach it to say short phrases, like "no way, Jose!", "bullshit," or "Get out of here." Long lifespan. Beautiful plumage.

Cons: Poops a lot. If given chance, would quickly fly South to a warmer exurb.

### An "end times" street preacher

Pros: Impending apocalypse means minimal planning. Loud speaking voice ideal for public meetings. Can use complex sentences. Would bring "energy" to the job.

Cons: Unpredictable expenses. Risk of suicide cult.

### A bowl of petunias

Pros: Friendly demeanor would be a good change of pace. Quiet in the office. Minimal needs.

Cons: Seems like the only fate worse than plummeting repeatedly through the atmosphere with a sperm whale.

### Cryogenically frozen Ted Williams

Pros: Formerly great hitter. Kind of an asshole, reportedly. Would be intimidating. Implications of the "unfrozen caveman."

Cons: Very expensive. Could wreak havoc with the HVAC.

### Very small rocks

Pros: Highly portable, which comes in handy for community outreach. Might float. Cheap!

Cons: You can throw them, which seems like a bad idea.




### The Rock-a-Fire Explosion

Pros: Kids would love it. Offers just enough variety to fool some people. Nostalgic appeal.

Cons: Likely to be moldy. Takes up a lot of room in the office. Highly repetitive.

TC Sidewalks Live: Noteworthy Dive Bars of Outer Northeast Walking Tour

[Map is here.]

Enough dilly dallying. It's time for the big kahuna: Northeast Minneapolis, the heart of the great city's dive bar beat.

The dive bar landscape of Northeast is too large to tackle all at once, and so we explore it piecemeal, one leg at a time. First up, the "outer rim," a strip of dives along Marshall Avenue and points south that parallel the Mississippi like a fishing line. We will be proceeding Southward from the dive apex at Lowry Avenue straight down into the heart of Hennepin and Central.

Northeast is the mecca of working class industrial Minneapolis, the largest continual stretch of old school urban Catholicism, forming a fraternal twin to the more Protestant South. 

And, like the South Minneapolis' division, the Northeast Minneapolis alcoholic landscape has a stark geography. According to the city's "liquor patrol limits," full liquor establishments weren't allowed East of 4th Street or North of 29th Avenue. 

Thus Northeast's dive bars were contained to a small area alongside the riverfront crotch. This was ostensibly because this is the distance that the city's 19th century "liquor patrol" could efficiently walk from their downtown stations. (But everyone knew the restrictions stemmed from moralistic paternalism by city's economic and religious leaders.) That is why the wealth of the city's shrines to old school libation are as concentrated as an Otter rum and coke.

(Note: 4th Street and its rich vein of dives, along with striking cluster in the "seasonal" streets, are reserved for a future date.) 

A note on walking

This will be a walking tour. (Bicycles are welcome, of course, and faster, and may proceed at their own leisure.) I will be walking at a relatively brisk pace between the dive destinations, and the total distance covered will be about two (2) miles. 

Walking in winter is an exquisite pleasure, and you should try it. For folks who'd like a shorter route, you can always meet the tour at Stop #2: Dusty's at around 7:00 PM.

[Tony Jaros' marks the Northwest corner of Northeast's dive district.]

A note on defining "dive bars"

[The N.E. Yacht Club was named by off-duty Star Tribune reporters.]

The term “dive bar” is a grey bag, a mixed and mumbled blessing. Proper definition eludes, resting close to Potter Stewart’s rule of thumb: “I know it when I see it.” 

That said, just as a litmus test is not a black-and-white affair but a spectrum of acidity, you can train yourself to measure a dive. They are often more than the sum of its parts, qualities that seem singly  inconsequential but, when considered in composition, can come together for a moment or for an evening like rare jazz. (And can be just as excruciating when they go wrong.)

Here are some things to keep your senses in tune:

Windows - These are a minus. Dives eschew fenestration. What happens in the dive, stays in the dive.

Staff - Ideally, there's only one staff. Maybe someone works in the back. The more staff, the less divey.

Regulars - A must. When you walk into a dive, people should stop talking like in a wild west saloon and look at you a bit funny. Unless you are a regular, you really don't belong.

Daydrinkers -Yep.

[A broken scale at the Terminal.]

Pull Tabs - Yes please. Meat raffles are also good. Best is when there's a pot of some sort of free food sitting on a table.

Nonchalance - Dives can't be trying too hard to make money. If they are, they're not dives any more. No fancy menus. No fancy paint jobs, etc.

Cleanliness - No more than absolutely necessary.

"Craft Beer" - Nope, unless its brewed within a mile or two of the dive. If it exists, it's largely symbolic.

Food - Greasy or nothing. Heggie's Pizza is the hallmark of a dive.

No one or two of these things is a hard or fast requirement. but together these qualities create a spatial mood and social atmosphere. While the “neighborhood bar” remains a close cousin of the dive, the distinction is important; a true dive draws from a wider environment, which explains the typical parking lots of pickups. So too with former dives (gentrified). Cop bars and some gay bars might qualify, but really belong in other categorizations. While dive bars are not the right venue for purism, one does ask for some degree of discernment.

 

[Facebook invite here.]

[The flying flag of Northeast.]

What: Walking tour of five dive bars in Northeast Minneapolis

Who: Anyone. Small donation requested, payable in beer upon arrival

When: January 28th, departing at 6:30

Where: Tony Jaros' River Garden

Why: Because it's there

How: Brief historical notes and discussions of each bar will be delivered upon arrival and/or departure. A pause for refreshment, then on to the next.


[See also: Noteworthy Dive Bars of South Minneapolis, Noteworthy Dive Bars of the Green Line, Noteworthy Dive Bars of Old Fort Road.]

The Gas / Pop Metaphor

[Bendy tubes.]

"If you like cheap gasoline, this January is the month for you!" says the headline this morning.*

The framing reminds me of the recent Marathon gasoline advertisement, and its unforgettable bluegrass jingle: "With a full tank of freedom, find your own highway, we'll take you wherever you go."

The ad features magic American flag fumes, nostalgic images of gas pumps, and a close-up of a young white woman sipping the straw of a big cup of soda.

[Mmmm. Good ol' pop 'n' gas.]

[Ouch.]

The mistake that we make in framing articles about "people who like cheap gasoline" is to think about gasoline as a consumer choice. Sure there are "types" of gas -- high and low octane, I suppose. And maybe in some earlier era, when gas was young, there were differences between gas companies.

Filling your car with gasoline is like paying your taxes. Everyone hates doing it, everyone must do it.** It's not a choice, it's a curse.

The other side to the metaphor is that both gasoline and soda pop are 20th century mass market productions tied deeply to vast cultural and material infrastructures. Both the gasoline in your tank and the corn syrup that's the #1 ingredient in a big gulp rely on cheap energy, exploiting vast acres of land, shady conglomerates, and heavy government subsidies. And for both, these pernicious supply lines are hidden behind a patriotic, nostalgic, and shiny façade.

[Billions of dollars and lifetimes of work to convince us there's a difference.]

[From the NYC soda pop wars of 2013.]

And both gasoline and soda pop are terribly bad for your individual health. For a long time our culture was willfully naive about the effects of cheap pop, putting machines in schools or making the "super size" option a default choice. But then diabetes began sweeping the nation like a bad dance trend, and a few places began pushing back. There's a long way yet to go.

And apart from cigarettes, the only thing worse for you than soda pop is gasoline. Even if you don't drink gasoline -- and don't drink gasoline -- driving everywhere keeps hundreds of millions of Americans from getting any exercise in their everyday lives.

It would be nice if we stopped talking about "people who like cheap gas." For most people, gasoline isn't a question of taste. It's simply the most visible piece of an environmentally destructive transportation system that desperately needs reform.

Gas isn't pop. Gas isn't fun. It's a boring bad habit.

[Only an idiot has fun at the gas pump.]

* It's another article about gas prices, and articles about gas prices are about as useless they come. Never once do any of them mention tax structure, subsidies, or global oil markets. To simply report the price of gas is like reporting on the blowing of the wind. You might as well be an inanimate sign.

** PROTIP: Once you get rid of your car, you never buy gas any more.

[Pop has gotten cheaper, gas more expensive.]