Notable Quotes #17: Chris Nieratko describes the Viking Bar, c. 2002

My back began crumbling after a week of sleeping on the couch. I couldn't even stand up straight. Much more, and I feared I'd be a permanent hunchback. Not wanting that, I made my way over to the Viking Bar to sit on some high stools with stiff backs in the hopes of straightening my spine while medicating my muscles. Somewhere between the first George Jones song and the eighth, an old lush fell into the bar, probably still drunk from the night before and most likely since that one night in 1976. He sat next to me, bumping his elbow against mine, too drunk to see the other 20 or so available stools around us. He looked at the barmaid, knowing what he wanted, just not how to say it.

"Odka nnn cubes," he grumbled.

"You want vodka with ice cubes?" she asked, trying to clarify.

"Um, yeah," he said.

"Do you want a beer or glass of water with that?"

"Uh, yeah, odka nnn cubes."

"Yeah, but which do you want, water or a beer?"

"Uh, yeah."

She became fed up and began to pour his vodka.

"No," he interrupted her, slashing his hand through the air and pointed assertively to the orange juice.

"Oh, she said, "vodka and orange juice."

He smiled and nodded. Then he started laughing to himself and didn't stop until his drink arrived. I wondered what it was he knew that he wasn't telling us. What the big secret was. I wondered if he knew what time it was or even what day it was. I wish he would have just turned to me and said, "Excuse me, son, are you aware that while you are sitting here staring at me staring at you in the mirror that you are missing your flight back to L.A.?" That would have been much funnier than going to the airport on Sunday and being told I was a day late, don't you think?

[From an article by skateboard writer and Big Brother Magazine editor, Chris Nieratko, describing a trip to Minneapolis in 2002.]